Liam and Noah- Nebraska Home Birth of twins with a Non-Nurse Midwife
{This story was contributed by Liam and Noah's mom, Melissa.}
I'm not a writer but hopefully by sharing my story I can make the decision of “where to birth my baby/babies" easier for another mom who may find herself in a similar position.
On the morning of June 8th, 2011 a strange feeling came over me even though my period was due for another day, so I decided to take a pregnancy test to ease my mind. I fully expected the test to be negative but after a few minutes saw a faint pink line. Not sure if this was a shadow, error, or an actual positive I called my best friend. She assured me I wasn’t pregnant (I had made similar calls in the past without ever taking a test) I told her about the test she again said, “No way- you have an IUD. Less than a 1% chance.”
Maybe I was just tired- we had just gotten back a few days earlier from our first family vacation to Disney. So I tried to go on about my day but couldn’t shake that "strange feeling"- I just knew. Told John holding back tears he needed to go get a digital pregnancy test. He asked why and I burst into tears saying because this one (holding test) looks slightly positive. He calmly said ok and I ushered him out of the house. He quickly came back and to my disbelief the stick read "pregnant" almost immediately. I became hysterical that we could have another baby. We already have three kids, the oldest was 6. John held me and assured me everything would be ok so I called my hospital midwife to schedule an appointment.
The morning of the ultrasound I called my best friend, who was still in disbelief, and she couldn’t go to my appointment because she had college classes that day. John was out of town for work and no one else could go at this point- I didn’t dare tell my family. So I went to the routine ultrasound appointment alone. Everything was set up like normal. I chatted with the tech about how much of a surprise this was and of course shared I had in an IUD. The tech asked if the student could start and I said sure but immediately her face became concerned. All was quiet, but I was looking at the screen and definitely saw a heartbeat so had no idea what was wrong. I stayed quiet staring at the screen seeing lots of black and white flecks on the screen having no idea what it all meant as I was only 6 weeks along everything was still quite distorted.
Finally I said, “Do you need help?” Maybe the tech should take over- the silence was killing me. The tech said, “She's fine.” Well, what’s going on then? What’s wrong? After a few seconds staring at the flickering image I sat up and said, "Are there two?"
The tech's response would stick with me forever. "Well, um, actually....I see three heartbeats. Congratulations, you're expecting triplets!" I was in total shock and responded, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I was sure they were mistaken. Through my tears of disbelief and happiness I quietly finished the appointment where I was told everything was fine on track with the dates. At the end although I appeared upset I was happy and scared.
The tech added that just because I had three happy heartbeats then most triplets don’t go on to finish a pregnancy, so don’t expect three babies, two or any when this was over. What a terrible thing to say to someone who just received the most shocking news of her life!
Ultrasound finished and I, now confused and still very emotional, went down to share the news with my midwife- pictures in hand, hoping for comfort. As I checked in I told everyone who would listen that I was expecting triplets naturally, with an IUD and only one ovary and Fallopian tube!
The appointment with the midwife was brief and awkward. After I revealed the news she was in disbelief, too, and hadn’t received the report yet so she immediately called for the results. After a few minutes later the nurse reappeared with a paper bag filled with prenatal vitamins and the midwife soon followed. I was told “We can’t provide care for you any longer. Take these vitamins and the perinatologist upstairs will call to make your next appointment.”
I was floored. I asked why she annoyingly said they are only allowed care for singletons and hadn’t ever had twins let alone triplets. I was devastated, confused and scared. What do I do now? Anything I should do not do? I left without a shred of information other than vitamins and wait for my next appointment.
The first appointment with the specialist we discovered one of the identical babies had disappeared and we now had healthy twins. Still, no one was optimistic but I knew I wouldn’t have unnecessary testing like an amnio or deliver by a C-section. I plainly refused and they all knew it.
My journey to have a successful vaginal birth of my twins starts here......
Still clueless I went on with my daily life researching everything on a vaginal delivery of twins on the internet. The information wasn’t reassuring. Most stories were saying a C-section was needed to deliver and in most cases an induction was done. I went to a baby fair where I got in touch with a FP that was more accepting on a "trial of labor" with twins. The physician was nice but still gave me little information and solely relied on images of ultrasounds at every appointment.
I was given the name of a midwife who does homebirths and had experience with twins. I wasn’t sure that was a road I dared travel so I stuck it in the back of my mind and continued care with the FP. Every appointment felt like a letdown and the care I was craving still was undiscovered. I liked the past care I had with the hospital midwife but the delivery wasn’t body-led like I intended for my first three singletons. My best friend suggested I just call the homebirth midwife to see what she said, and was assured if I wasn’t a good candidate for homebirth she would be straight forward and let me know. Reluctantly my hubby and I agreed and we made our first appointment. Of course he was concerned with safety and affordability because insurance doesn’t cover a homebirth in Nebraska.
Meeting our savior
The first meeting was in-depth and very informational. We were good candidates for a home birth but we could continue care with the FP and decide to do a hospital delivery at any time. This sounded like a win-win. Although the midwife’s services would be paid for out-of-pocket we decided it would be worth it and she offered us a payment plan. After more appointments with the FP and midwife I knew a homebirth was the care I definitely wanted and many tours later the hospital was NOT for us.
Sharing our plans with others was not positively received. I was met with: are you crazy? reactions, to what if your babies die? This kind of response definitely made me have second thoughts. I went back and forth from home to hospital throughout my entire pregnancy. I made a promise to myself, my hubby, and my babies that if at any time I felt like we needed the hospital we would go. In this time my babies were growing and thriving and my belly was growing. It was an amazing experience. With the nutritional and educational guidance of my midwife I had absolutely no issues during this pregnancy. It was absolutely perfect. I had my mind and heart set that I would go full term with twins!
I'm not a writer but hopefully by sharing my story I can make the decision of “where to birth my baby/babies" easier for another mom who may find herself in a similar position.
On the morning of June 8th, 2011 a strange feeling came over me even though my period was due for another day, so I decided to take a pregnancy test to ease my mind. I fully expected the test to be negative but after a few minutes saw a faint pink line. Not sure if this was a shadow, error, or an actual positive I called my best friend. She assured me I wasn’t pregnant (I had made similar calls in the past without ever taking a test) I told her about the test she again said, “No way- you have an IUD. Less than a 1% chance.”
Maybe I was just tired- we had just gotten back a few days earlier from our first family vacation to Disney. So I tried to go on about my day but couldn’t shake that "strange feeling"- I just knew. Told John holding back tears he needed to go get a digital pregnancy test. He asked why and I burst into tears saying because this one (holding test) looks slightly positive. He calmly said ok and I ushered him out of the house. He quickly came back and to my disbelief the stick read "pregnant" almost immediately. I became hysterical that we could have another baby. We already have three kids, the oldest was 6. John held me and assured me everything would be ok so I called my hospital midwife to schedule an appointment.
The morning of the ultrasound I called my best friend, who was still in disbelief, and she couldn’t go to my appointment because she had college classes that day. John was out of town for work and no one else could go at this point- I didn’t dare tell my family. So I went to the routine ultrasound appointment alone. Everything was set up like normal. I chatted with the tech about how much of a surprise this was and of course shared I had in an IUD. The tech asked if the student could start and I said sure but immediately her face became concerned. All was quiet, but I was looking at the screen and definitely saw a heartbeat so had no idea what was wrong. I stayed quiet staring at the screen seeing lots of black and white flecks on the screen having no idea what it all meant as I was only 6 weeks along everything was still quite distorted.
Finally I said, “Do you need help?” Maybe the tech should take over- the silence was killing me. The tech said, “She's fine.” Well, what’s going on then? What’s wrong? After a few seconds staring at the flickering image I sat up and said, "Are there two?"
The tech's response would stick with me forever. "Well, um, actually....I see three heartbeats. Congratulations, you're expecting triplets!" I was in total shock and responded, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I was sure they were mistaken. Through my tears of disbelief and happiness I quietly finished the appointment where I was told everything was fine on track with the dates. At the end although I appeared upset I was happy and scared.
The tech added that just because I had three happy heartbeats then most triplets don’t go on to finish a pregnancy, so don’t expect three babies, two or any when this was over. What a terrible thing to say to someone who just received the most shocking news of her life!
Ultrasound finished and I, now confused and still very emotional, went down to share the news with my midwife- pictures in hand, hoping for comfort. As I checked in I told everyone who would listen that I was expecting triplets naturally, with an IUD and only one ovary and Fallopian tube!
The appointment with the midwife was brief and awkward. After I revealed the news she was in disbelief, too, and hadn’t received the report yet so she immediately called for the results. After a few minutes later the nurse reappeared with a paper bag filled with prenatal vitamins and the midwife soon followed. I was told “We can’t provide care for you any longer. Take these vitamins and the perinatologist upstairs will call to make your next appointment.”
I was floored. I asked why she annoyingly said they are only allowed care for singletons and hadn’t ever had twins let alone triplets. I was devastated, confused and scared. What do I do now? Anything I should do not do? I left without a shred of information other than vitamins and wait for my next appointment.
The first appointment with the specialist we discovered one of the identical babies had disappeared and we now had healthy twins. Still, no one was optimistic but I knew I wouldn’t have unnecessary testing like an amnio or deliver by a C-section. I plainly refused and they all knew it.
My journey to have a successful vaginal birth of my twins starts here......
Still clueless I went on with my daily life researching everything on a vaginal delivery of twins on the internet. The information wasn’t reassuring. Most stories were saying a C-section was needed to deliver and in most cases an induction was done. I went to a baby fair where I got in touch with a FP that was more accepting on a "trial of labor" with twins. The physician was nice but still gave me little information and solely relied on images of ultrasounds at every appointment.
I was given the name of a midwife who does homebirths and had experience with twins. I wasn’t sure that was a road I dared travel so I stuck it in the back of my mind and continued care with the FP. Every appointment felt like a letdown and the care I was craving still was undiscovered. I liked the past care I had with the hospital midwife but the delivery wasn’t body-led like I intended for my first three singletons. My best friend suggested I just call the homebirth midwife to see what she said, and was assured if I wasn’t a good candidate for homebirth she would be straight forward and let me know. Reluctantly my hubby and I agreed and we made our first appointment. Of course he was concerned with safety and affordability because insurance doesn’t cover a homebirth in Nebraska.
Meeting our savior
The first meeting was in-depth and very informational. We were good candidates for a home birth but we could continue care with the FP and decide to do a hospital delivery at any time. This sounded like a win-win. Although the midwife’s services would be paid for out-of-pocket we decided it would be worth it and she offered us a payment plan. After more appointments with the FP and midwife I knew a homebirth was the care I definitely wanted and many tours later the hospital was NOT for us.
Sharing our plans with others was not positively received. I was met with: are you crazy? reactions, to what if your babies die? This kind of response definitely made me have second thoughts. I went back and forth from home to hospital throughout my entire pregnancy. I made a promise to myself, my hubby, and my babies that if at any time I felt like we needed the hospital we would go. In this time my babies were growing and thriving and my belly was growing. It was an amazing experience. With the nutritional and educational guidance of my midwife I had absolutely no issues during this pregnancy. It was absolutely perfect. I had my mind and heart set that I would go full term with twins!
THE DAY!
January 26th a Thursday I laid in bed with my Hypnobabies® CD on like every night and hubby lay with me and quietly played games on his phone. Everything felt normal and I was just two hours from being 38 weeks. At 10:30pm I get up to pee and with a giant gush there went my waters. I was a little nervous and knew it was time my babies would be here soon. Holding back tears I called my midwife, doula, and best friend.
I was a little nervous because the waters were pink and I never had that before but was reassured by my midwife. After an hour contractions started about ten minutes apart and irregular. So hubby and I started setting up the pool while we waited for the mw assistant to come. She arrived around 2:30am monitored the babies they were doing great. The midwife lives about four hours away so we expected her around 4am- by this time we had a full house. It was reassuring and comfortable but I was still waiting for something dramatic to happen.
It never did. I never felt out of control or scared. I felt the exact opposite it was great! I was encouraged to rest because knowing baby A was breech I would need my strength to push. I was able to rest, eat, shower - whatever I wanted without the restrictions of monitors and hospital rules. After many hours of a boring labor without chaos I was awakened by my first "Whoa" type of contraction around 6am. Around this time my kids started waking up for school. These continued for the next hour as I calmly worked through them with breathing.
My three kids (ages 7, 6, and 4) calmly went about business as usual as I worked. A few times they checked on me and asked when the babies would be here and I could only respond with “soon”. At 7am it was time to get in the birthing pool that was set up in the middle of the dining room. It felt amazing- just what I needed at this point. My midwife seemed to know what I needed before I did. My 4-year-old daughter was present the entire time. She loved rubbing my back with frequent costume changes so her brothers could see all her pretty outfits.
Finally around noon it was time to push. It took a lot of work to get baby A down in his complete breech position. The midwife tickled his feet and he was able to switch to a more favorable frank breech position, s1crotum presenting first. Liam arrived at 2pm weighing in at 6lbs 10oz- he was beautiful. After a very short time of cuddling him I had to hand him off to daddy for it was time to push again. To everyone’s surprise Baby B was coming bag intact, and also breech. I quickly pushed and Noah was born a footling breech at 2:49pm and weighing 6lbs 5oz. It was amazing- I did it and I was grateful.
January 26th a Thursday I laid in bed with my Hypnobabies® CD on like every night and hubby lay with me and quietly played games on his phone. Everything felt normal and I was just two hours from being 38 weeks. At 10:30pm I get up to pee and with a giant gush there went my waters. I was a little nervous and knew it was time my babies would be here soon. Holding back tears I called my midwife, doula, and best friend.
I was a little nervous because the waters were pink and I never had that before but was reassured by my midwife. After an hour contractions started about ten minutes apart and irregular. So hubby and I started setting up the pool while we waited for the mw assistant to come. She arrived around 2:30am monitored the babies they were doing great. The midwife lives about four hours away so we expected her around 4am- by this time we had a full house. It was reassuring and comfortable but I was still waiting for something dramatic to happen.
It never did. I never felt out of control or scared. I felt the exact opposite it was great! I was encouraged to rest because knowing baby A was breech I would need my strength to push. I was able to rest, eat, shower - whatever I wanted without the restrictions of monitors and hospital rules. After many hours of a boring labor without chaos I was awakened by my first "Whoa" type of contraction around 6am. Around this time my kids started waking up for school. These continued for the next hour as I calmly worked through them with breathing.
My three kids (ages 7, 6, and 4) calmly went about business as usual as I worked. A few times they checked on me and asked when the babies would be here and I could only respond with “soon”. At 7am it was time to get in the birthing pool that was set up in the middle of the dining room. It felt amazing- just what I needed at this point. My midwife seemed to know what I needed before I did. My 4-year-old daughter was present the entire time. She loved rubbing my back with frequent costume changes so her brothers could see all her pretty outfits.
Finally around noon it was time to push. It took a lot of work to get baby A down in his complete breech position. The midwife tickled his feet and he was able to switch to a more favorable frank breech position, s1crotum presenting first. Liam arrived at 2pm weighing in at 6lbs 10oz- he was beautiful. After a very short time of cuddling him I had to hand him off to daddy for it was time to push again. To everyone’s surprise Baby B was coming bag intact, and also breech. I quickly pushed and Noah was born a footling breech at 2:49pm and weighing 6lbs 5oz. It was amazing- I did it and I was grateful.
My babies were here healthy, and full-term and I was without pain, medication or tears. After learning to juggle two babies at one time in the tub, it was time to move to the couch. Wrapped in blankets to cuddle, nurse and eat a grand meal prepared by my wonderful husband. The kids came home from school to meet their new brothers- still naked on the coach. After a few hours we were ready for a warm herbal bath, clean jammies and tucked into our own bed where we stayed for the first week. It was wonderful- no one rushed us, it was completely our schedule.
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