Nona Joy- Freestanding Birth Center
{Story contributed by Nona's mom, Melissa.}
"I'm sure you must be a pro by now!" Those words, frequently offered as a kind reassurance somehow had a funny way of having the opposite effect. I probably SHOULD feel like a pro. After all, my husband and I were the proud parents of five beautiful children all birthed naturally with no complications. Last June when we learned that we were going to be blessed with another lovely little one, we were breathless, excited to once again experience the miracle of new life. In the back of my mind though, I couldn't shake that nagging little question..."am I really ready to go through birth again?"
Birth had always been a stressful subject for me, even after 5 deliveries. The contractions and labor I could handle. It was the dreaded constant questions, the many forms to fill out, the multitude of unfamiliar faces constantly circulating in and out of the room, the many suggestions to change position, roll over, try walking, or take a bath. It was the pressure I felt to deliver my baby in a timely fashion. In the back of my mind I thought if I didn't take the suggestions I was wasting their time. I always felt as if there was an entire group of people standing around impatiently waiting for me to deliver. It was like something more was expected out of me. I knew what would happen. It happened every time. I would do great until the very end, and then when we arrived at the hospital I would start worrying about whether or not I was being too loud, if I was doing something "wrong," or if all the people in the room were getting bored waiting around. As caring as they were, I knew these people had many things to do and the thought of me being a burden would stress me out to the point of exhaustion. I remember thinking over and over again that I would be so much less stressed out if everyone would just stop obsessing over me.
One of the first things I did after getting that positive pregnancy test was to look online and see how things were developing for the soon-to-open birth center. The midwife opening the center had been my care provider for my last birth in the hospital, and I couldn't have asked for a more a wonderful support during pregnancy and birth. We had spoken months before about her plan to open Nebraska's first free-standing birth center, and I was elated to see that it was scheduled to open before my due date! The idea of a less-stressful and more natural birth atmosphere was very appealing to me, and the birth center held hope of being just that.
We opted not to find out the baby’s gender this time around. I just love the surprise of finding out at birth! Well, the weeks went by and the month of February arrived. My due date was not until mid-month, but I was not getting my hopes up that I would deliver that soon. Each of my previous pregnancies had concluded a little later than the last and I was used to making it to at least 41 weeks. Braxton hicks started around 30 weeks, also normal for me. I was pretty surprised when out of the blue, 9 days before my due date, I had a contraction that was so hard I had to stop and breathe through it. I told Aaron that it was a strong one and he immediately got excited and started timing them. I verbally blew it off but kept wondering to myself if maybe I really was in labor. The contractions lasted all night, keeping me awake, and at one point getting down to 6 minutes apart for several hours before spacing out to 20 minutes apart again. By morning I was frustrated. My last labor had been exactly like this and had lasted close to 48 hours. I wondered if it was going to be a long couple of days. Then suddenly, at 10am the contractions completely stopped. I couldn’t believe it! It seemed that exhausting night was for nothing! I closed the door to our bedroom and lay down, trying not to cry. I fell asleep and hour and a half later was awakened to VERY strong contractions. They were still 20 minutes apart, but hey, I was just glad they were back.
Aaron suggested we would take the kids over to my parents and spend the afternoon there until I felt it was time to head to the birth center. My contractions were becoming stronger, although they were maintaining their space. I was still feeling fairly skeptical though, and in my heart I kept giving in to frustration and the fear that this would go on for days. I agreed however, mostly because I was hoping the activity would distract me. We settled the kids in and my parents and my contractions continued to build. I had to quickly leave the room and call for Aaron whenever I could feel one coming on and I could tell things were starting to pick up. Maybe this WAS the real deal, and I was going to have a baby today.
I still resisted though. I dreaded that stressful flurry of activity at the hospital so much that I would wait until the last possible moment before giving in and going. Then, I knew it was time. I had a contraction so strong I suddenly I wondered if I had waited too long.
I told Aaron we need to go "now!" and we quickly hit the road and called the birth center to let them know. It was a 25 minute drive but it really felt like a blur. Aaron prayed for the baby and I, and amazingly, I didn't have a single contraction on the road. As soon as I got out of the car the contractions started again, almost on top of each other. My midwife was waiting inside the door with and a hug and a "happy birth day!" She brought us to the beautiful room where I was going to give birth and it was completely different from what I had ever experienced. Painted in lovely warm plum colors, it looked more like a gorgeous bedroom than a medical room. Furnished with a four-poster bed and comfy chairs, candles even flickered on an end table. I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. The lights were dimmed and everything was just so quiet and peaceful. At the point where my stress level would be normally hitting a high, I felt myself begin to relax and breathe easier.
The midwife checked the baby's heartbeat and declared that everything sounded great. She asked if I would like her to check and see how far along I was and I readily agreed. Hurrah! I was at 8cm. We were getting so close to meeting our baby, and knowing that gave me an extra burst of motivation and strength. My contractions were blending into one now, and I knew that the baby was moving down and that in a few minutes I would be ready to push. I sat on the birthing ball and leaned against the bed. Aaron rubbed my back and put his cheek against mine while reminding me to breathe. Without asking, my midwife started filling the tub for me in case I wanted to use it and then she just patiently stood in the background and let Aaron help me through the contractions.
When the baby had moved down so low that I couldn't sit on the birthing ball anymore I knew I was ready to push. My midwife asked me if I would like to try a water birth and the thought of sitting in the hot tub sounded wonderful. What a relief to sit in the warm water! Immediately the pain from the contractions faded and my body sank into a calm. Aaron sat beside me and told me how great I was doing and reminded me of how close we were to holding our baby. My midwife and the nurse were so relaxed, chatting with happy smiles. I knew that they had nothing else to do, no other patients to check on. They were happy to sit with me for as long as it took and I appreciated that more than anything! I think my contractions stopped for about 7 or 8 minutes when I got into the tub and I knew that I should take that time to focus and prepare myself to push.
How surreal those moments were. It sounds unbelievable, but I was so peaceful I felt like I could almost go to sleep. I just kept thinking that this was so radically different than the births I had been through before. How could this be so quiet and calm? I just couldn't believe it. There was no pressure, no hurry, no millions of people around. There was no feeling of being out of control or helpless. Just these beautiful moments together waiting for our baby in a quiet room that felt more like home than anything else, surrounded by people who wanted me to succeed in my time, when I was ready. I felt such a surge of happiness and I was determined to hold my baby as soon as possible! Before my next contraction started I reached down and I could feel the baby's head behind the bag of waters and I was so ready! I could feel the contraction starting and I begin to push. I felt the baby's head emerge and I pushed harder until the shoulders were out. I put both hands around my baby and brought her up out of the water. Just one push! Beautiful, beautiful girl! So tiny and perfect. She cried right away, and I held her on my chest and we breathed together. I held her there for 15 minutes more and no one whisked her away from us to weigh her or scrub her off. She was so alert, her lovely eyes wide open, as she listened to us talk to her and name her Nona Joy.
"I'm sure you must be a pro by now!" Those words, frequently offered as a kind reassurance somehow had a funny way of having the opposite effect. I probably SHOULD feel like a pro. After all, my husband and I were the proud parents of five beautiful children all birthed naturally with no complications. Last June when we learned that we were going to be blessed with another lovely little one, we were breathless, excited to once again experience the miracle of new life. In the back of my mind though, I couldn't shake that nagging little question..."am I really ready to go through birth again?"
Birth had always been a stressful subject for me, even after 5 deliveries. The contractions and labor I could handle. It was the dreaded constant questions, the many forms to fill out, the multitude of unfamiliar faces constantly circulating in and out of the room, the many suggestions to change position, roll over, try walking, or take a bath. It was the pressure I felt to deliver my baby in a timely fashion. In the back of my mind I thought if I didn't take the suggestions I was wasting their time. I always felt as if there was an entire group of people standing around impatiently waiting for me to deliver. It was like something more was expected out of me. I knew what would happen. It happened every time. I would do great until the very end, and then when we arrived at the hospital I would start worrying about whether or not I was being too loud, if I was doing something "wrong," or if all the people in the room were getting bored waiting around. As caring as they were, I knew these people had many things to do and the thought of me being a burden would stress me out to the point of exhaustion. I remember thinking over and over again that I would be so much less stressed out if everyone would just stop obsessing over me.
One of the first things I did after getting that positive pregnancy test was to look online and see how things were developing for the soon-to-open birth center. The midwife opening the center had been my care provider for my last birth in the hospital, and I couldn't have asked for a more a wonderful support during pregnancy and birth. We had spoken months before about her plan to open Nebraska's first free-standing birth center, and I was elated to see that it was scheduled to open before my due date! The idea of a less-stressful and more natural birth atmosphere was very appealing to me, and the birth center held hope of being just that.
We opted not to find out the baby’s gender this time around. I just love the surprise of finding out at birth! Well, the weeks went by and the month of February arrived. My due date was not until mid-month, but I was not getting my hopes up that I would deliver that soon. Each of my previous pregnancies had concluded a little later than the last and I was used to making it to at least 41 weeks. Braxton hicks started around 30 weeks, also normal for me. I was pretty surprised when out of the blue, 9 days before my due date, I had a contraction that was so hard I had to stop and breathe through it. I told Aaron that it was a strong one and he immediately got excited and started timing them. I verbally blew it off but kept wondering to myself if maybe I really was in labor. The contractions lasted all night, keeping me awake, and at one point getting down to 6 minutes apart for several hours before spacing out to 20 minutes apart again. By morning I was frustrated. My last labor had been exactly like this and had lasted close to 48 hours. I wondered if it was going to be a long couple of days. Then suddenly, at 10am the contractions completely stopped. I couldn’t believe it! It seemed that exhausting night was for nothing! I closed the door to our bedroom and lay down, trying not to cry. I fell asleep and hour and a half later was awakened to VERY strong contractions. They were still 20 minutes apart, but hey, I was just glad they were back.
Aaron suggested we would take the kids over to my parents and spend the afternoon there until I felt it was time to head to the birth center. My contractions were becoming stronger, although they were maintaining their space. I was still feeling fairly skeptical though, and in my heart I kept giving in to frustration and the fear that this would go on for days. I agreed however, mostly because I was hoping the activity would distract me. We settled the kids in and my parents and my contractions continued to build. I had to quickly leave the room and call for Aaron whenever I could feel one coming on and I could tell things were starting to pick up. Maybe this WAS the real deal, and I was going to have a baby today.
I still resisted though. I dreaded that stressful flurry of activity at the hospital so much that I would wait until the last possible moment before giving in and going. Then, I knew it was time. I had a contraction so strong I suddenly I wondered if I had waited too long.
I told Aaron we need to go "now!" and we quickly hit the road and called the birth center to let them know. It was a 25 minute drive but it really felt like a blur. Aaron prayed for the baby and I, and amazingly, I didn't have a single contraction on the road. As soon as I got out of the car the contractions started again, almost on top of each other. My midwife was waiting inside the door with and a hug and a "happy birth day!" She brought us to the beautiful room where I was going to give birth and it was completely different from what I had ever experienced. Painted in lovely warm plum colors, it looked more like a gorgeous bedroom than a medical room. Furnished with a four-poster bed and comfy chairs, candles even flickered on an end table. I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. The lights were dimmed and everything was just so quiet and peaceful. At the point where my stress level would be normally hitting a high, I felt myself begin to relax and breathe easier.
The midwife checked the baby's heartbeat and declared that everything sounded great. She asked if I would like her to check and see how far along I was and I readily agreed. Hurrah! I was at 8cm. We were getting so close to meeting our baby, and knowing that gave me an extra burst of motivation and strength. My contractions were blending into one now, and I knew that the baby was moving down and that in a few minutes I would be ready to push. I sat on the birthing ball and leaned against the bed. Aaron rubbed my back and put his cheek against mine while reminding me to breathe. Without asking, my midwife started filling the tub for me in case I wanted to use it and then she just patiently stood in the background and let Aaron help me through the contractions.
When the baby had moved down so low that I couldn't sit on the birthing ball anymore I knew I was ready to push. My midwife asked me if I would like to try a water birth and the thought of sitting in the hot tub sounded wonderful. What a relief to sit in the warm water! Immediately the pain from the contractions faded and my body sank into a calm. Aaron sat beside me and told me how great I was doing and reminded me of how close we were to holding our baby. My midwife and the nurse were so relaxed, chatting with happy smiles. I knew that they had nothing else to do, no other patients to check on. They were happy to sit with me for as long as it took and I appreciated that more than anything! I think my contractions stopped for about 7 or 8 minutes when I got into the tub and I knew that I should take that time to focus and prepare myself to push.
How surreal those moments were. It sounds unbelievable, but I was so peaceful I felt like I could almost go to sleep. I just kept thinking that this was so radically different than the births I had been through before. How could this be so quiet and calm? I just couldn't believe it. There was no pressure, no hurry, no millions of people around. There was no feeling of being out of control or helpless. Just these beautiful moments together waiting for our baby in a quiet room that felt more like home than anything else, surrounded by people who wanted me to succeed in my time, when I was ready. I felt such a surge of happiness and I was determined to hold my baby as soon as possible! Before my next contraction started I reached down and I could feel the baby's head behind the bag of waters and I was so ready! I could feel the contraction starting and I begin to push. I felt the baby's head emerge and I pushed harder until the shoulders were out. I put both hands around my baby and brought her up out of the water. Just one push! Beautiful, beautiful girl! So tiny and perfect. She cried right away, and I held her on my chest and we breathed together. I held her there for 15 minutes more and no one whisked her away from us to weigh her or scrub her off. She was so alert, her lovely eyes wide open, as she listened to us talk to her and name her Nona Joy.
Everything was just as it should have been, and I can’t imagine a more peaceful or joyful birth experience. After getting out of the tub we moved to that fantastic bed to cuddle with our new baby. After Nona nursed for an hour, my midwife and the nurse weighed and measured her and finished up the necessary paperwork for us. Our older children arrived to meet Nona, and four hours after birth we were on our way home to enjoy life together. It was truly was wonderful to be able to rest and recover in the quietness of my own home, in my own bed.
This birth was radically different from the first five. It wasn’t that mu midwife and the birth center staff had amazing suggestions or great drugs to help move labor along, or make it easier. As strange as it sounds, it was almost the lack of that. It was the attitude of respect towards me, that I knew best what was happening with my body and the calm reassurance that they were just there to support me and provide a peaceful and secure place to let me birth. I knew that they weren’t expecting everything to go wrong - they were expecting everything to go right, and that sense filled me with strength and helped me to focus on bringing my baby into the world.
To learn more about story submission, or to read more birth stories please click here.
This birth was radically different from the first five. It wasn’t that mu midwife and the birth center staff had amazing suggestions or great drugs to help move labor along, or make it easier. As strange as it sounds, it was almost the lack of that. It was the attitude of respect towards me, that I knew best what was happening with my body and the calm reassurance that they were just there to support me and provide a peaceful and secure place to let me birth. I knew that they weren’t expecting everything to go wrong - they were expecting everything to go right, and that sense filled me with strength and helped me to focus on bringing my baby into the world.
To learn more about story submission, or to read more birth stories please click here.