Caroline- Home Birth in Urban Area with Non-Nurse Midwife
{This story was submitted by Caroline's mom, Melany.}
About a year ago, on a chilly March afternoon, our third blue-eyed baby girl was born...at home in the middle of our living room. The birth of Caroline was unlike anything I had ever imagined. Maybe that is why it has taken me a whole year to be able to put that day into words.
I birthed our first two daughters at the hospital under the care of Certified Nurse-Midwives. These were both wonderful experiences that I hold dear to my heart. I was, however, frustrated with having to lobby for what I wanted (or did not want) and disappointed in the lack of freedom I had with my babies once they were born. It just didn’t feel quite right.
As we prepared for our third baby we decided to look into homebirth. My husband wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea, but he was willing to investigate it. We met with a midwife who travels from another state and really felt at peace with her. We made the decision to go ahead and plan to have a home birth. Our midwife made monthly visits working with me on my nutrition and monitoring our baby’s growth and heart tones. Never once did she weigh me, draw blood, or perform any vaginal exams. Her philosophy of birth as a normal and natural process began at the beginning of my pregnancy. This time around I didn’t feel like I had a medical condition or a sickness. Maybe this is what helped me feel more at peace with our decision to birth this baby at home. I felt more at ease approaching this birth than my first two. I didn’t have to worry about making it to hospital too late or too early, what I would pack, or who would take care of my other children.
About a year ago, on a chilly March afternoon, our third blue-eyed baby girl was born...at home in the middle of our living room. The birth of Caroline was unlike anything I had ever imagined. Maybe that is why it has taken me a whole year to be able to put that day into words.
I birthed our first two daughters at the hospital under the care of Certified Nurse-Midwives. These were both wonderful experiences that I hold dear to my heart. I was, however, frustrated with having to lobby for what I wanted (or did not want) and disappointed in the lack of freedom I had with my babies once they were born. It just didn’t feel quite right.
As we prepared for our third baby we decided to look into homebirth. My husband wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea, but he was willing to investigate it. We met with a midwife who travels from another state and really felt at peace with her. We made the decision to go ahead and plan to have a home birth. Our midwife made monthly visits working with me on my nutrition and monitoring our baby’s growth and heart tones. Never once did she weigh me, draw blood, or perform any vaginal exams. Her philosophy of birth as a normal and natural process began at the beginning of my pregnancy. This time around I didn’t feel like I had a medical condition or a sickness. Maybe this is what helped me feel more at peace with our decision to birth this baby at home. I felt more at ease approaching this birth than my first two. I didn’t have to worry about making it to hospital too late or too early, what I would pack, or who would take care of my other children.
My first contraction came at about 2 am the morning of March 8, 2011. Five minutes later another, and five minutes later yet another. I knew what to do next. I called my midwife directly and she answered right away...another easy and normal process. There weren’t any complicated answering systems to go through or unknown voices to deal with.
I knew that it would take her several hours to arrive so I just laid low on the couch sipping my raspberry leaf tea. The midwife’s two assistants, with whom I was very familiar from the monthly pre-natal visits arrived first, quietly observing me as I worked through contractions. At about 6am the midwife arrived. I was relieved to be able to get up and move around. Moving helped my contractions become stronger, longer, and closer together.
The next 6 hours or so were very relaxed. Here is what I DID do. When I was thirsty, I drank. When I was hungry, I ate. When I felt like going for a walk or getting in the bathtub...I did. I sat on the birth ball, laid in my bed, paced the floor, watched my girls play and listened to my birth music. Here is what I DID NOT do. I didn’t get in a car and ride through traffic. I didn’t have to meet anyone new or sign any legal documents in between contractions. I wasn’t poked with anything, hooked up to anything or made to do anything that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I was trusted to make my own decisions. I guess you could say, in other words, that I was treated with respect and dignity. I don’t recall ever going through a contraction without a loving hand on my back. Whether it was that of my husband or the midwife.
I knew that it would take her several hours to arrive so I just laid low on the couch sipping my raspberry leaf tea. The midwife’s two assistants, with whom I was very familiar from the monthly pre-natal visits arrived first, quietly observing me as I worked through contractions. At about 6am the midwife arrived. I was relieved to be able to get up and move around. Moving helped my contractions become stronger, longer, and closer together.
The next 6 hours or so were very relaxed. Here is what I DID do. When I was thirsty, I drank. When I was hungry, I ate. When I felt like going for a walk or getting in the bathtub...I did. I sat on the birth ball, laid in my bed, paced the floor, watched my girls play and listened to my birth music. Here is what I DID NOT do. I didn’t get in a car and ride through traffic. I didn’t have to meet anyone new or sign any legal documents in between contractions. I wasn’t poked with anything, hooked up to anything or made to do anything that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I was trusted to make my own decisions. I guess you could say, in other words, that I was treated with respect and dignity. I don’t recall ever going through a contraction without a loving hand on my back. Whether it was that of my husband or the midwife.
In these hours my mother, best friend, and friend photographer arrived at my house. They could come and go as they pleased without “checking in”. Everything was so normal and natural. My mother played dollhouse in the kitchen with our daughters. My best friend prepared sandwiches for lunch. Everyone was talking, laughing and carrying on as usual. This is one of the things I loved most about this birth: The normalness.
Sometime in the early afternoon I started to tune out the things going on around me and start really concentrating on getting ready to birth my baby. My contractions were growing stronger and stronger and causing me to bear down with each one. There was a trickling of my bag of waters and I really wanted to push. It took a few pushes for my muscle memory to kick in and remember what to do and how to push. Pushing didn’t feel quite right and baby wasn’t moving down despite my hard work. This is the first time that my midwife decided to check my dilation. I was only at 8 cm.
Hearing that number was gut-wrenching but my midwife reassured me that breathing through a few more contractions would do it. Sure enough, within a few more contractions, I was there. I did have a cervical lip to work through but the midwife knew just how to gently hold it back as I pushed. I remember being a little more vocal than my first two births during pushing. I attribute that to feeling so comfortable with my surroundings. Within several pushes baby was past the lip and crowning. The midwife helped ease the baby out into the hands of her daddy. It was another beautiful girl! One of most wonderful feelings in the world is when that warm slimy little baby is plopped onto your belly. That wonderful feeling is what rushes all over you and you forget all of the pain and hard work it took to get to that point.
Sometime in the early afternoon I started to tune out the things going on around me and start really concentrating on getting ready to birth my baby. My contractions were growing stronger and stronger and causing me to bear down with each one. There was a trickling of my bag of waters and I really wanted to push. It took a few pushes for my muscle memory to kick in and remember what to do and how to push. Pushing didn’t feel quite right and baby wasn’t moving down despite my hard work. This is the first time that my midwife decided to check my dilation. I was only at 8 cm.
Hearing that number was gut-wrenching but my midwife reassured me that breathing through a few more contractions would do it. Sure enough, within a few more contractions, I was there. I did have a cervical lip to work through but the midwife knew just how to gently hold it back as I pushed. I remember being a little more vocal than my first two births during pushing. I attribute that to feeling so comfortable with my surroundings. Within several pushes baby was past the lip and crowning. The midwife helped ease the baby out into the hands of her daddy. It was another beautiful girl! One of most wonderful feelings in the world is when that warm slimy little baby is plopped onto your belly. That wonderful feeling is what rushes all over you and you forget all of the pain and hard work it took to get to that point.
The next hour was so beautiful. I was moved up to a rocking chair and our baby girl nursed and nursed and nursed. She was allowed to nurse without any interruptions or tests or procedures. She was in complete control. Caroline was alert, happy and healthy. She stared, mouth wide open, up at me and didn’t take her eyes off of me for that hour. Her sisters came over and started touching her little fingers and toes and counting them and kissing them.
The midwives prepared a warm herbal bath for Caroline and me and this was the first baby that didn’t cry during her first bath. She was calm and relaxed. After the bath, Caroline was measured, weighed and dressed. After everyone took a turn holding her, we were tucked into our bed for the night.
After the midwives cleaned everything up and everyone had left my husband and girls joined us in our bed. There we were a family of five, with our sweet Caroline...all in a day’s work.
To learn more about story submission, or to read more birth stories please click here.
The midwives prepared a warm herbal bath for Caroline and me and this was the first baby that didn’t cry during her first bath. She was calm and relaxed. After the bath, Caroline was measured, weighed and dressed. After everyone took a turn holding her, we were tucked into our bed for the night.
After the midwives cleaned everything up and everyone had left my husband and girls joined us in our bed. There we were a family of five, with our sweet Caroline...all in a day’s work.
To learn more about story submission, or to read more birth stories please click here.
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